So, I've been practicing magick constantly for some time now. I just went through seven days of sigilization, and I must say that it feels amazing, just doing something every day. And I've completed the first financial magick ritual, and I am halfway into the second ritual now. I think it's day seven of calling the angels 'who are Metatron'. And I must say, I feel ridiculously at peace. And to boot, I've had this sensation of a presence ever since the day after the Blood Moon. Simply amazing. This entire weekend I've gotten more burning sensations. She is helping me opening up my astral senses, and and is helping me get accustomed to her presence...
I struggle to find words of gratitude for that.
And also, I feel grateful towards the other daimons that I summoned. I know that they responded as well.
Those last few days... I've been really living in a liminal space. It's surrounding me. It's occupying my mind. I've been proliferate with my blog as well. My muses simply wont leave me alone! And I always seem to have something to say, something to write about. That's new to me. Now I have several drafts of blog posts, just waiting there for the right time to be published.
How on earth did that happen?
I know that I started the blog for my own sake. I had to create something - do something. And now I am looking the statistics and people from all over the world have visited it. And apparently someone from Oregon is really interested in what I have to say... which I must say feels really nice. Although I've never gotten any comments or feedback - except from the ones I've asked for - it feels nice to know that people are actually returning to your blog and read it.
I knew I wanted that. Somehow though, I couldn't quite imagine it when I first started. I just figured 'what the heck' and started writing. For an audience of one. Who knew anyone would actually be interested at all in what I had to say? But it appears to be quite a few... It makes me happy.
But back to the Magick. I have so much to do, but I also feel at ease. And I feel confident that I will be able to perform whatever I need to perform. Right now I've been able to push through several rituals and spells in a very short time, and I will be blasting through more. I have only this past week completed seven sigil shoals. That's 63 sigils. It's more than I have done those past months! And sigils being so underrated, I am happy I decided to do this. It pushes me forward. Well, drags me, more accurately. But whatever, I progress and get results and that's all that matters.
And concurrently with the seven financial magick rituals I am doing I will also start reading the book on treasure spirits, and I think that I might actually get going with the Runesoup grimoire course, calling on Birto. I don't know about the rest of the course, but I figure I could at least explore that.
And with the brainwave entrainment tracks that I just got the other day I am expecting some freakishly awesome meditation sessions. I've been lacking in that department, and I need to get meditation into my routine. Just like I have now (finally!) gotten back into jogging. It is awesome, and it feels amazing. Especially those parts where I really had to challenge myself, like those long upward slopes. I tell myself 'The mind is the key' and I just keep running - knowing that it is my mind, not my body, that wants to tell me to stop. And I am telling my mind to stop shut it, and just get on with it. And on with it, it goes. And I feel really accomplished afterwards. Elated even. I guess that's what's called a 'runners high'.
And I am also expecting some really tremendous results from the entrainment tracks. Only by listening to the 3 minute short sample the other day did my mind spring into life. Something happened, I am not sure what. But it was like it was suddenly... aware... in a different way. Awake. Conscious. Stirring. Coming alive. Sentient. A most bizarre and amazing experience. And don't get me started on the entire 60 minute track. I'll post an update on that soon.
I also have the Kundalani, invocation, divination, and soul travel courses from BALG. I know they were a sudden purchase, and perhaps not what I really needed at the time as I got them. But fate pulled my hand, and I don't regret purchasing them. In fact I really do look forward to them. Kinda like a reward for (finally) changing my attitude about money, wealth and abundance.
All things given in all I haven't felt this awesome in a very long time. I feel like I am finally understanding what it means to 'dominate your mood' when talking about mental alchemy. I am reading a book called the Chimp Paradox, and it is really, really enlightening. And it feels so good to understand that all those bad decisions I made in the past? They weren't conscious. At least not entirely - they were made by a chimp! That way I can not only forgive myself for my weaknesses of the past, but I can also learn to control my 'chimp', and to let my 'human' speak, think, and do the interactions with others. And I must say, I've gotten pretty good at it as well! Not I am not some kind of crazy person (at least not in that regard). But being able to dominate your mood, actively choosing how to act instead of reacting, that is really liberating.
And having the presence of mind to know what to say and what not to say... it's a grace from the Omnissiah itself. We humans think we are so rational, being so proud of our so called Reason. Yet most of let our emotions dictate how we behave, and basically on autopilot nontheless! And that goes for me as well, for what has basically been the entirety of my life. It's been a while now, and I've always belittled myself for that. But now I know what I was missing... Now I finally realize what was going on... and now I finally have a framework and a tool to work with to change that...
And continually expressing myself, my inner self, and continually practice magick... has really made me level up. I am not sure of how it happened, but somehow I am here now, and not down there, where I was before. Ah, I suppose that's how it is. There's no bright flash and pinging sound when you level up (though I kinda wish there were...). You just do, and then you realize it a while after. Not that I mind though. I only want to progress, and that's what really matters in the end.
And the Kokoons are arriving soon! Ooh, I am so excited. I will be doing those entrainments, bineural beats, subliminals, and ASMR's that I've been meaning to.
Oh on another Magickal note. While my parents were there as I grew up and so on and were always loving and kind, they weren't really 'there'. Growing up - emotionally and intellectually - I was alone. I've realized that now as an adult. So, I recently turned to others. I turned to Lilith, Kali, Hecate, Babalon, and Selene as my 'Mothers' - to look after me and to care for me. And I in turn will honor them and celebrate them, and most of all, make them proud. Turning to them, asking to be cared for... it really strung something with me. I felt a pang in my chest as I did and I realized that moment that I had missed an active motherly presence in my life growing up. It's not all that strange strange. There were four of us kids and not enough time to go around... But I never knew I had unresolved issues like that...
But now I know that I can turn to the Goddesses. Indeed I already have, and only after two nights of prayers - asking them for help to shear my weaknesses - did I notice a change in my thoughts, my behavior, and and demeanor. It was like... somehow... I was just different. At that moment I knew that they had heard my prayers, and I promised them and myself that I would honor them from that moment and onwards. It feels good to have Mothers. I never knew lacked it...
Good times ahead, indeed.