Dream Scares

 Photo by  T L  on  Unsplash

Photo by T L on Unsplash

My dream scares used to be dinosaurs. Or wolves. The dinosaurs (Yes, you read that right! Dinosaurs! Don't ask me why!) usually chased us at the house where I grew up, and there was a T-rex involved Jurassic park-style, almost every time. They were later replaced by wolves - also chasing me and the others around the vicinity of the house. Or in places where I was alone, like in a dusky forests. Those were some real nightmares.

And now I haven't had dreams about wolves in a very long time. As scares they were replaced by bears. Yes, bears.

Below are two excerpts from my dream journal from September last year.

Dream journal entry - 2017-09-14

So, I had a dream about bears...

They have essentially replaced my wolves as the scares of my dreams. I don't fear wolves anymore. But bears? Now that's a real fear that I have.

Completely irrational.

When would I ever meet one in real life?

But in my dreams they appear scary to me. Deadly. A certain Death. And I know that this is just a figment of my imagination and a play on my fears. They represent what I don't want to face. Funny enough, the bears of my dreams are actually the shadows that would haunt the dreams of others instead. Hah, and I get bears... (a funny side note is that I did dream about a big wolf, but I weren't afraid of it. In fact I faced it, and fought it off)

Anyway, I will have to find a way to mentally (and emotionally) face them. Either with power (the darkness inside me is stronger than them, and I consume them) - or with love as in accepting them. If and when I accept them in my dreams (and approach them without the expectation to be hunted) they simply wont... since they are my own creation. An expression of my mind. And well enough, they do represent the things I fear to face. So by facing them, I am accepting that I do have these fears, and it will make me stronger, and soon enough I will be strong enough to really face them in my own life.

So... bears.

I should practice more to get lucid. I ought to read more about it, and train myself for it. And I need to prepare myself and my mind to be powerful. I need to accept this hunger inside me. I need to feed it. And what better to feed it with, than with my fears? Let it consume them all. All of them.

Dream journal entry - 2017-09-27

So, I had a dream again. About bears. Or more specifically, just one bear. A grizzly.
And it was a magical-sort of. He had white-ish eyes, like he was blind but could still see. And he was old. Very old.

Anyway - me and someone else (I don't know who) were out hiking, I think. It was a winter landscape with patches of snow, and we came to a place free from snow, with bare pine trees and rocks and dried pine needles covering the ground. And there I met him (or should I say - it?). It looked hostile. Very hostile. And I did feel threatened and scared at first. But then something changed. I was not lucid, and I am not sure exactly what happened really, but I did decide to approach the bear in a friendly manner. And just like that - suddenly I was not afraid of it anymore.

I think I woke up after that. But still, I did dream about a huge (and very scary) seemingly magical grizzly bear, and I approached it without fear! Now this is significant! Not only had bears replaced wolves as the scares of my dreams, but now one very scary one appeared, and I became friends with it. Well, at least on friendly terms.

But I overcame that scare, and that's amazing! I am finally taking control over my life, and I feel like my subconscious (dreams) are reflecting that. And also, if he (it?) was an Other, I might just have made a powerful ally.

I am becoming more and more powerful. This is amazing. I am truly starting to take control. I suppose it means that I am becoming less and less frightened and scared in my waking life. I know I can take control, so I feel more relaxed.

My scares now

I don't dream about bears anymore. Not since I met that Old Sage Grizzly. I figured since I "overcame" that kind of scare they don't show up anymore.

No. Now my dream scares are almost always about me coming late for work, or failing to call my boss to tell them I won't make it. Or to realize after half the day had passed and that it was a work day and that I hadn't gone there or even called them, and how would I ever explain that to my boss??

l suppose it's a sort of underlying concern about being laid off I suppose, which is totally unfounded and uncalled for, and that probably comes from a sense of "not doing a good enough job" even though I know I excel at what I do. This tells me that I need to work on my sense of self-worth and confidence at my job.

Ah well.

So, now my nightmares consist of me coming late for work. Hah, I suppose it could have been worse.

So, what about you? What scares keep you company at night?

Yours always,

J.L.R. Kruse